I haven’t felt myself lately…

I know that may be surprising for some to hear as my exterior disposition is conventionally one of a relaxed and composed demeanor. However, my mental well-being over the last few months has been anything but the case. The winter months have always given me the “winter blues” and led to number of adverse signs that I normally don’t experience as much during the warmer months, including: depression, difficulty concentrating, and a lack of interest in activities. Nevertheless, it would never be longer than 1-2 days and I would find myself back on my feet. For some reason or another this winter has extended my mental health struggles longer than normal.

It’s not that I don’t know I have a life chock full of daily blessings and people around me that make my life feel more meaningful. An incredibly loving and devoted family, a wife who has stuck with me through thick and thin and who I love deeply, two beautiful children, and a job that I’m passionate about and still can’t wait to get to every morning attest to that declaration. To me, it’s the peaks & valleys of life that can create a barricade from seeing what exactly is in front of me at any given moment. It’s the monotony that can develop from settling into routines and the exhaustion that is the daily grind of employee, husband, father, among other daily hats. It’s the mental and physical exertion that’s required to be a parent of two young children. Throw one of the harshest winters in recent memory on top of those and I have found myself to be – admittedly – pretty down in the dumps lately.

I’ve confided in family and close friends regarding the realities of the past few months and the uncharted waters that I have had to navigate. I’ve struggled with feelings of exhaustion, self-deprecation, self-criticism, and a ho-hum mindset and outlook. These feelings, in my opinion, are normal to experience to a certain degree; nonetheless, they had started to become more and more blatant and mood-stricken.

The past few weeks I have noticed a gradual improvement in my mental well-being thanks to close family and friends who have never shied away from lending me a helping hand. The remedies I’ve learned from them, coupled with the remedies I already employ to battle the roller coaster of mental health, has me finally starting to feel back to my normal self. I can’t even begin to acknowledge how much I’ve genuinely needed my support system for life advice, a pep talk when I needed to hear one, and just somebody to share an honest conversation with.

We never know what people are going through at any given time or moment. We all have our daily struggles that we navigate to the best of our ability and have to endure. Just because the exterior of someone appears to be happy and lively doesn’t necessarily mean the internal makeup is the same. Never underestimate the power of having a warm conversation with someone or asking somebody how they’re feeling. As inconsequential as it may appear at the time it can have a drastic and profound influence on the individual you are speaking with. I know that it has had that effect, without a doubt, on me.

— Chris

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I could go back in time and tell my 18-years-old, fresh out of high school, with no earthly idea or concept of what I wanted to do or where I saw myself in a decade about the man I am today he would have thought he won the lottery. I don’t want that sentence to be taken out of context or misunderstood as if I was a troubled teenager, nevertheless, I find it remarkably eye-opening whenever I reminisce on the journey of my life; mainly the trials and tribulations that I have endured; different routes that I have taken; times of extraordinary bliss and happiness; and, moments of extraordinary hardship and pain.

Finding perspective, coupled with reflection, was the inspiration behind this blog. Reflection is an activity that I don’t think we make enough time for as human beings in today’s day and age. Incidentally, the motivation behind 95% of my personal writing is reflection-based and to help me think deeply and carefully about my existence and the legacy I want to leave behind as a husband, father, and as a person. Furthermore, I believe that sometimes in the day-to-day, ebb and flow of life that it can be easy to lose track of how far we have come in life. As mentioned in my first paragraph I have been giving much thought over the past week as to what the adolescent Chris Harris would have thought regarding the life I lead today. Even though I didn’t have much of an idea as to what I wanted to do back then (what 18-year-old’s do?), there was a handful of distinctive and integral parts of life that I knew I wanted one day:

• A loving and beautiful woman who I shared a cordial and everlasting bond with and who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
• A family of my own with children to build memories, create traditions, and to love with boundless devotion.
• A job where I made a positive and invaluable impact and where I felt as if I was making the world a better place to live in.
• A home that I could walk in the door and feel the stresses of my day melt away as I settled into dinner with my family and talked about each other’s day.
• A vibrant community in which I pledged my loyalty to and planned to settle for the rest of my life & raise a family in.

After listing those bullet points and attempting to put myself in the mind of the 18-year-old, ‘Chris Harris’ I can wholeheartedly say that he would be unequivocally proud and jubilant of the life I lead today. He would put a check mark next to everything I listed and do so with a smile on his face and fondness in his heart. He would see me as man who’s worked hard for what he has, a person who lives their life with integrity and passion, and an individual who loves his family and friends to the moon and back and would do anything for them.

Furthermore, another inspiration behind this blog was a result of a philosophy that I follow on a daily basis — which is assuring that no one has higher expectations or standards for me than myself — and, while I believe that a great majority of who I am today has been achieved as a result of that mindset, I’m also conscious to remember that I’m a human being after all and to cut myself a little slack from time to time. That vantage point gives me an insightful perspective, grounds me and prevents me from more self-criticism, and signifies to me that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.

Now I need to start pondering what the Chris Harris ten years from now will be thinking about who I am today…

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

 

February 2018.

Five-and-a-half months ago.

That’s how long it’s been since the last time I found myself with the energy and readiness to sit down and write my thoughts down on my personal blog. It feels like light years ago that Audrey was still in Emily’s belly and we were prepping for the last month of her pregnancy. I’ve learned a great deal about myself in more ways than I ever thought possible during this almost half-a-year hiatus from writing. Transitioning from one child to two kids has been easier in some ways; in other ways it’s been harder and has taken some getting used to.

During the past few months I’ve developed a fondness and appreciation for country music — especially classic country music from the 70’s and 80’s — that I never conceived would be possible. A song that has been burned into my brain since I had the pleasure of listening to it for the first time is, “Love Without End, Amen” a single from renowned country artist George Strait. Tears flowed from my eyes the first time I heard it as I listened to arguably the most acclaimed and distinguished country artist of all-time speak to me about the unique and perpetual role of being a father. The first chorus truly struck home as to what the role of being a father is to me and how strongly I feel about always making sure I’m there for my children no matter what the circumstances are.

[Chorus:]

And he said, “Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love,
A secret that my daddy said was just between us.”
He said, “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then.
It’s a love without end, amen, it’s a love without end, amen.”

This stage of my life is hard and can sometimes dampen my spirits as tough as it is for me to admit. Being a man and a father I take pride in staying pretty even-keeled and not letting my emotions get the best of me, nevertheless, as much of a blessing it can be being a father to two kids there are times it can be as equally draining and strenuous. I need songs such as this one to bring me perspective and reenergize me spiritually, in addition to the love and support of my family and friends. My family will always be my top priority and a focus of mine no matter what, however, I believe that through the ebb and flow of life I call for a swift kick in the rear occasionally to remind me of what’s really important, to soak in the memories my kids create, and to always present myself in the best version possible and this song does just that.

Sure, it can be exhausting and frustrating and I know that over time new challenges will arise — ‘small kids, small problems, big kids, big problems’ I believe is the saying — but through it all my love and devotion that I have for Colin & Audrey will never hinder.

Thank you George Strait for creating a song that I can always go to when I need sensibility and clarity in my life or for when I just want to feel the profound sense of love that I have for my children.

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

March 26th. Emily’s due date for our second child is getting closer and closer each passing day and it’s surreal to think that in less than a month another Harris (gender TBD) will be under our roof and in our tender care. It’s comical to think how naive and oblivious I was before Colin joined our world in terms of what I thought parenting would entail. Never in my wildest dreams did I fathom some of the experiences and emotions that I would encounter being a father. There’s been plenty of joyful and rewarding moments, however, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the ‘other’ parts of being a parent (no, Colin isn’t smiling all the time, Grandma); the sleepless and never-ending nights; handling the temper tantrums thrown by toddlers and the appropriate ways to respond to them; the constant nurturing and responsibilities placed in front of you on a daily basis when raising a child; and, the stress and pure exhaustion that being a parent brings and how to not let the overwhelming and taxing components of the commitment get the best of you. Here are four things that I was believe I was pretty unconscious about in regards to parenting before Colin:

1. Sleep is Overrated (But Cat Naps are Life Savers): As most first time parents find out early on, sleep is a precious commodity that you undeniably took for granted pre-parentedhood. Despite that, you figure out methods (i.e. cat naps worked wonders for me) to help alleviate your lack of sleep and rest. Moreover, I discovered just how resilient and gritty I was without consistent beauty sleep and a full battery charge. Colin didn’t begin sleeping through the night on a consistent basis until almost a year-and-a-half, therefore, I know all about the sleepless and frustrating nights trying to get regular sleep. Even though I was running on little to no sleep, I still was able to conquer my day at work and then come home and take care of all the other duties expected of me. The long nights invoke a sense of appreciation and revelation about sleep that I never thought I would have before.
2. It Really Does Take a Village: I knew that my immediate family and in-laws were going to play a big part in Colin’s development and care taking, nonetheless, I had no idea I would be as appreciative of it as I am today. Once I identified early on just how much work, in addition to physical and mental exertion, being a parent required I recognized just how imperative a helping hand was going to be in raising Colin. From my mother-in-law being our full-time caretaker when Emily and I work to my immediate family making regular trips down to visit us, my gratitude and reverence for my family has never been stronger.
3. Kids Bring Out Your Youthful Side: As hard as it can be sometimes mustering up the energy to keep up with him, I always savor my time at the end of the day with Colin. The playfulness and silliness that it prompts brings out a side of me that re-energizes me mentally and physically, in addition to awakening memories and nostalgia of my childhood. Moreover, it builds upon and fosters a more wholesome bond between Colin and I.
4. How Much I Would Genuinely Need Emily: I can’t even fathom what parenting would be without my beautiful wife and best friend. She’s the glue that holds this family together and I know I owe her a debt of gratitude more than she knows. Her patience, fortitude & work ethic are just a few of the qualities that I strive everyday to match. She inspires me on a day-to-day basis by how naturally and effortlessly she navigates the daily challenges of a career, parenting, and her multitude of miscellaneous duties that she takes care of. She keeps me positive and upbeat, talks sense into me and whips me into shape when I need it, and always gives me an open hear when I just need to vent or to give me advice when I desperately need it.

 

Parenting is, and more than likely will be, the hardest chapter of my life. Nonetheless, it’s also the most joyous and rewarding. I’ve found out that there’s some long days, some hard days, some days where I feel completely hopeless and futile. However, those days are few and far between in terms of how many days are on the opposite end of the spectrum; The days where my heart fills with joy as I watch Colin rub Emily’s belly; the moment when Colin gives me a big hug and kiss and tells me he loves me; watching Colin learn new vocabulary and get excited about learning new things; and, lastly, just the journey of parenting and making sure to soak it all in. I blinked and Colin is already two and it won’t be long before Colin and #Baby2 are grown and are off living their own lives. Hence, that’s why I strive to make sure I enjoy and relish all of the different stages of parenting right now and in the future and to ensure that I never look too far ahead to the future. Jim Rohn put it best when he said, “happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

Greetings and good morning everyone. Thank you all very much for being here today.

I’m honored and humbled to stand up before you this morning and have the opportunity to tell the story of the path that brought me to spiritual fulfillment and led me right here to this wonderful and loving church. I’m excited to give my fellow congregation members an overview of my spiritual background, in addition to the importance this church has played in leading me to a deeper and more fulfilling relationship with God.

First and foremost, although she isn’t here, I would like to thank Pastor Karen for presenting me the chance to speak with you this morning and for all that she does for our church each and everyday. She truly is one of a kind and I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we sure are fortunate and blessed to have such a devoted, kindhearted, and passionate individual as our pastor.

My first memories of church and fellowship was when I was in elementary school and my Grandma Harris would take me to her local church on occasion when she watched me on Sundays. Even though I was just a boy at the time, I remember it being a place of hope, positivity, and reflection and a place that genuinely sparked curiosity and wonder from me. Other than the memories with my Grandma and attending Vacation Bible School at the daycare I went to during the summer, I didn’t have a whole lot of memories from attending church and other church-related functions. My upbringing didn’t consist of being affiliated with a specific church and it wasn’t because my parents didn’t want to be, quite frankly. It just wasn’t a part of our routine growing up and I’m sure my parents used there Sunday mornings for a little R & R after running their three children around to every extracurricular activity you could think of and working 50 hours a week. I know how challenging and how much of an uphill battle it can be to get out the house with one child, therefore, I can only imagine what it was like trying to get three out of the house.

After graduating from Ball State, I started attending church again on an occasional basis with Emily back in 2012 and I rejoiced in the chance to form my own relationship with God for the first time and recognized just how special of a relationship you can have with him. I began noticing a deeper appreciation for the little things in life, a stronger connection with those close to me, and I formed pledge to accept life as is and never take the good things or people in my life for granted. We attended church with Emily’s family at the time at Hazelwood Christian Church in Clayton. It was a lovely church and a perfect jumpstart into my spiritual journey, however, I longed for a church where I could develop a more intimate relationship with the congregation members and a church where I could experience more accountability towards serving others that are less fortunate than me. I wanted to feel the warmth of a small, loving congregation.

My spiritual journey was reinvigorated from the first time my family stepped foot inside of Stilesville Christian Church back in late 2014. From the moment we walked in the door, we were greeted with open arms and warm smiles. Since I’ve been a member at our wonderful church, I’ve developed a stronger and more profound relationship with God. My family and I have developed relationships with the congregation that go way beyond seeing each other just on Sunday morning for service. Pastor Karen was at my house two days after Colin was born. I’ve had lunch and spent time outside of the church with several members. Cassie watched Colin for 4 months while Emily and I were at work. We’ve enjoyed the holiday gatherings, services outside, lunches after church, and all of the other activities that have bestowed upon me a fondness of this church that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

 

I’ve learned more about the sacrifices that God has made to give each and every one of us the opportunity to be here amongst one another today. His teachings and principles, in addition to the passionate sermons from Pastor Karen that we all have the luxury of hearing every Sunday have resonated with me tremendously and have had an overpowering influence on my outlook towards life. It’s easier than ever before to get wrapped up in all of the negativity surrounding our world and it can be even easier to let that negativity affect your mood and how you view life, however, I believe that little churches such as this one go a long way towards uplifting our world and instilling positivity and hope in the lives of all. We should never depreciate the influence of our little church and how much spirit and faith we create to not only each other, but also every other person that we encounter in our daily lives outside of church.

I can express to all of you that without question that I wouldn’t have the mindset I do today and outlook on life if it wasn’t for this church that we all proud to be a part of.

In closing, I will be leaving you with the scripture reading that I aligned with my sermon for today. Feel free to open your books to Page 987 to following along:

Proverbs 3:1

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

 

In today’s world, being a parent or guardian is becoming an increasingly challenging and complex responsibility. Heavy schedules, technological advancements, social media, financial obligations, and the ever-changing lifestyle we’ve undertaken all have resulted in numerous difficulties for parents. Balancing work, finances, household responsibilities, marriage, our children, and other miscellaneous duties has the potential to leave many parents physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m still adjusting to all of the demands that I’m faced with on a daily basis and just how exhausting it can all be. Make no mistake; I genuinely love and cherish the role of father and all of the blessings and responsibilities it has bestowed upon me. Despite the obstacles and hardships that we face as parents, we consistently pursue the teachings of critical life skills and principles that will have an everlasting impact on our children for generations to come. The ones I place a great deal of significance in teaching my son include:

1. Resiliency: Kids quit too easy nowadays. I want to emphasize the importance of not backing down when you’re up against a wall or get knocked down. Many life lessons can be learned from the challenges and hurdles that life can throw at us sometimes. A person who falls and gets back up is much stronger than a person who never fell.
2. Hard Work: Hard work is a principle that is certainly still valued among society today. Even with the evolution the 21st century has undergone and the advancements in technology, people still respect and admire an individual putting in a honest day of hard work. Rolling up your sleeves, tackling projects, ideas, and assignments with vigor and determination, and doing whatever is requested of you to get the job done is something I don’t see getting outdated anytime soon.
3. Patience: Patience is, in my opinion, arguably the principle that I will stress the most to Colin. Nothing will come easy and overnight. The capacity to accept failure and the misfortunes of life are what set the majority of successful and unsuccessful people apart. You don’t always have control over everything life gives you; however, there’s one thing you can always control and that’s your attitude. Staying calm and tolerant when faced with a particularly difficult task or situation is more often than not the most efficient and effective way to resolve the issue.
4. Personable: I want him to love being around people and to never be scared to show them his authentic self. Furthermore, having the ability to converse with a variety and magnitude of individuals will be given meaning and purpose. Everybody in life has taken a different path and you should never lose sight of how much people appreciate you giving them their time and attention. Respectful, loving, and warm go along with a number of personality traits I aspire for him to possess when he’s older.
5. Gratitude: I want him to never forget where he came from, to always remember how fortunate he is, and to have a thankful appreciation for what he receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, he can acknowledge the goodness in his life at all times. I want him to give thanks continuously and to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing in his life.

Instilling these principles is going to require endless amounts of patience and persistence, in addition to continuous illustrations of these by myself and other role models that have influence on my son’s life. Plenty of mistakes will be made and swallowing my parental pride and admitting my mistakes won’t get any easier. However, I hope Colin will learn about resiliency, hard work, patience, how to be personable, and gratitude through these life lessons and more!

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

 

 

This thing called life that we all lead isn’t a long one. Granted, when you’re young like me it’s easy to misconceive yourself and believe life is a lot longer than it really is. We don’t have much time on Earth, therefore, it’s imperative that we live a fulfilling and selfless existence. One of the the ways to do that, you ask? Be about something bigger than yourself.

What can that be? It can be volunteering at your local church’s food pantry or at a charitable, service-oriented organization in town. It can include being a loving and supportive parent and setting a good example for your children. It can be sending kind and warm-hearted notes and messages to people who are in dire need of it. What you do to be bigger than yourself is a relatively objective and open decision, however, what isn’t is the feeling you will get from doing it: The feeling of doing something that will outlive and outlast you. The simple message is to be less interested in you, and more interested in the world around you. Additionally, most, if not all, successful leaders and individuals spend time working on something bigger than themselves and the legacy that they hope to leave.

Take the group of young leaders at the Indianapolis-based, youth fitness non-profit organization I’m employed at, Nine13sports, for example. We work tirelessly, benevolently, and passionately to get more and more youth in the city of Indianapolis excited about not only living a healthy and active lifestyle, but all of the endless life opportunities and goals they are capable of achieving in life.

As a husband, father, and professional, I stay pretty busy working to leave a lasting and permanent legacy each and every day. It drives a fire in my belly to go to bed every day knowing that I did something that day to leave the world in a better place than it was the day before. Whether that’s showing a young child how to ride a bicycle for the first time, or teaching my son the significance of using, “please” and “thank you,” I never have to look too far to find inspiration when it relates to being about something bigger than myself.

Your life’s significance doesn’t come from status, salary, or material possessions. It comes from service. Life isn’t about what you make, who you know, or what you do. The power that real purpose brings to any effort makes it all worthwhile. So take the time to identify how you connect with something greater than yourself, and prepare for the joy you will feel when you tap into that intention.

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

 

Change is a part of life that we all experience during our lifetime. Whether it’s the passing of a loved one or starting a new position in your career, one of the few consistencies in life is that you will experience change. Change is constant, so we usually don’t notice the little or the expected changes; it’s when you are caught off-guard that you can get discombobulated. Albeit, while some individuals will encounter change more frequently than others in their lifetime, it’s always beneficial to have a few “survival skills” for adapting to it when it does occur. Here are the practices that I follow whenever I experience any type of change, from something small such as pumping the brakes to enjoy the beauty of life more; to more substantial changes such as moving into a new home or having a child:

• Change Must Come From the Inside First: As difficult as it can be sometimes, especially considering the circumstances of the change you’re presented with, you have to find that part inside of you that’s willing to accept the inevitable life transformation. It takes days, weeks, sometimes even years before you can wholeheartedly know that you’ve accepted the change inside, however, you’ll know when the time has come and that you’ve accepted the change.
• Have a Glass Half Full Outlook: It will take a magnitude of patience and a foreword-thinking mindset; however, a glass half full outlook is a game changer whenever you’re going through any type of change. I’ve been utilizing the practice right now as my family begins the process of moving from our first home into a house that we believe to be our, “dream house.” It will be emotional to say the least moving out of our first home, nevertheless, I’ve benefited from employing the glass half full outlook. I’ve thought about the holiday family gatherings at our new home that weren’t necessarily feasible at our first house and the convenience having more space will garner us once baby number two is here.
• Remember to Focus on Making Small Improvements Daily: As much as we want it to sometimes, it’s imperative to remember that nothing happens overnight. When you’re going through change, reminding yourself to focus on making small improvements on a daily basis is an instrumental and sufficient practice. Instead of doing whatever is necessary to put the change in your rearview mirror, embrace this life transition and the opportunity to grow mentally, emotionally, occupationally, physically, or whichever wellness state the change will naturally affect the most.
• Never Forget the Value of Having a Strong Support System: Family and friends are going to be your biggest supporters during this time of uncertainty. Through it all, family and friends have been the one constant as you’ve maneuvered through the unpredictable ups and downs of life and you can always rely on them to welcome you with open arms, in addition to objective and concrete advice.

Keep me in your thoughts over the next few weeks as I navigate the ups and downs of moving. As most individuals who know me comprehend, I’m a fairly sentimental and emotional individual when it comes to these type of situations. It’s going to be sentimental saying goodbye to our first home, because, in a way, it feels as if we’re saying goodbye to a part of our lives that we’ll never get back again. It will be difficult to say the least; but I know that if I follow these survival skills I will be just fine in the end.

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

 

Colin turned 1-year-old almost a month ago. Boy, that went by fast. It’s surreal to think that a year ago he didn’t know how to walk, talk, or play with his toys. This past year has been full of endless amounts of joy, frustration, fear, and love, among many other emotions.

Parenting is hard. I don’t state that lightly. Parenting is by far the most emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding and exhausting thing I’ve ever done. Nothing even comes close or compares in my humble opinion. Between work, housekeeping duties, and taking care of Colin, my loftiest goal at the end of the day is some Netflix and then hitting the hay to get ready for the following day. Although it’s taxing, challenging, and demanding, I genuinely joy the role of being a father. Here are a few reasons why I do:

• I cherish the feeling of holding him in my arms and watching as he slowly falls asleep. It’s a feeling that’s truly difficult for me to describe to someone. It just overcomes me with such joy and contentment. I believe one of the reasons why I treasure it so much is because I know one day he’ll outgrow those moments and that I’ll miss them.
• The father/son bond that Colin and I are building is something that I’ve relished over the past few weeks. For example, I’ll make a weird noise and then he’ll replicate the exact same weird noise that I make. It’s been entertaining to watch as he slowly starts to learn new things and develop his own little personality. He’s definitely a Harris that’s for sure.
• I love watching him walk as fast as he can over to me when I pick him up from daycare after work. It’s another feeling that’s hard to describe. Enthusiasm and joy both pour out of us during these moments. Even though it’s only been a few hours since I’ve seen him, it feels like it’s been much longer than that. I compare it to catching up with a friend or loved one that you haven’t seen in a very long time.
• I value the moments when he reminds of what’s important in life. It’s so easy to get caught up on all of the negativity in today’s day and age, from social media to the political climate. His big blue eyes and infectious grin never cease to reinforce what’s truly significant in my life.

Of course there’s more that I love about being a father. It’s been a magnitude of blessings and cherished memories with only more to come. While it does have its challenges, I believe those have molded me into a stronger, more confident, and well-rounded individual. Moreover, it’s advanced a number of life skills that will equip me to live a more fulfilled and productive life, including patience, communication, time management, and stress-management.

Thanks for reading!

— Chris

Boy, have times changed since the last time I wrote about parenthood, which was back in early July. At that time, Colin was just learning how to crawl and grasping the realization that he could move from one part of the room to the other. Now, all bets are off as the little guy has mastered the crawling stage and is inching closer and closer to utilizing walking as his main form of transportation. While I’m usually a shell of a man once the day is over from chasing him around the house, I’m genuinely enjoying this stage of parenthood. He still thinks I’m hilarious (but who doesn’t, honestly?); we are having fun playing with all of his toys, chasing the animals around the house, and going for walks; and, we have slowly begun our strong and unbreakable father/son bond.

One aspect of this stage that I’m enjoying tremendously is looking into Colin’s eyes and seeing nothing but innocence and pureness. It frightens me that one day he’ll grow up and learn about all of the negativity in our world today. He’ll discover that people will judge and degrade certain individuals based on their race, ethnicity, gender, income levels, among others; instead of taking the opportunity to get to know them and find out what’s in their heart. He’ll ask me why groups of people will senselessly protest and hurt (and in some cases, kill) innocent people just because they didn’t get their way in a political election or judicial case. The questions of, “Why? and, “How?” will follow once he finds out that children will bully other children just because they don’t wear the fanciest clothes or they don’t excel at athletics.

As a parent, I recognize that Colin will one day be curious as to why as a society we still struggle with issues that have plagued us for years and years. He’ll want answers to be able to form his own opinion and judgment on the issues we as Americans face each and every day. And, quite frankly, as scared as I am I’m not going to shelter him. I’m going to give him informed and concrete explanations as to why these problems still affect society. I will try my best to educate him on the differences between right and wrong and to never judge a person based on their outward appearance. I will regularly emphasize to him how unfair it is to draw conclusions and opinions of others without taking the chance to know them as an individual. I’m sure he’ll become annoyed at my constant reminders of, “you can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” or the classic,”if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

While I will admit I’m moderately frightened at the responsibility of raising a moral, law-abiding, good-hearted adult knowing all of the exterior components that can have a negative impact on him, I know that if Emily and I raise him the way our parents raised us we should be just fine. Additionally, I get excited when I think about the possibility of him being an advocate for change or working for a cause to make the world around him a better place. I want him to give back to his community, spread peace and love to those who are deeply in need of it, and to never forget the importance of humility and kindness.

I know that I have a while until I have to dig into this topic, nevertheless, it feels good to pen down some of my thoughts and ways that I would approach it once it becomes applicable. For now, I’ll continue to enjoy watching Doc McStuffins and playing with trucks.

Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for reading!

— Chris